Sep 24

I can tell you now, things aren’t as great as they used to be.

Even I’ll admit that I’m but a shadow of the person I used to be. Nap time in prep has well and truly passed, and even the pleasures in “guilty pleasures” has been removed; only the guilt remains.

Yes, I’m aware of how emo this particular post may sound, but hear me out. If this doesn’t particularly appeal to you, no one’s forcing you to stay.

So. If you were to tell me right at this second that everything’s just gone to hell on a handcart, I’d say you were about right.

I guess the problem comes from not knowing what I want to do. Like my Windows 7 party, I’ll go through the motions to make it seem like I have everything planned out, and had everything gone my way I would have given it everything. Unfortunately for me things haven’t gone my way, and now I’m just… lost.

It’s alsmost surreal. I lack motivation for anything, and things which seemed once enjoyable just aren’t anymore – just something to pay the bills and feed my gaming addiction, you know?

Honestly, I couldn’t care less. Procrastination is my modus operandi, and everything just seems to lack excitement, or any kind of payoff. Even things which mildly interest me, such as web development seem like utter crap when assessed. Assessment just takes all the fun out of it, you know? What’s the point, really? So I can get some piece of paper that says I can do certain things? Hoo-rah, gentlemen.

I don’t think I’ve asked myself the big questions in a little while – what do I want out of life, where do I see myself in 10 years, what do I want to be doing, etc – but even if I asked them today, I honestly wouldn’t have an answer.

It’s somewhat sad, because I know I’ve got my whole life in front of me, and yet I have no idea what to do with it. I know I want to do something (anything else would just be a waste), but I’m just not sure what.

It’s like like the lights are on, but there’s no one a home. It’s like there’s a door, and you can knock on it, but no matter how long or hard you knock, you’ll never get an answer.

Everything has fallen apart, gentlemen. And like Humpty Dumpty, I’m not quite sure I can put it all back together again.

written by Benny Ling \\ tags: , , , ,

Oct 08

So it’s that time of the year…

The time of when we fill out those forms for the Calvin Magazine (more on that later), saying who we are, what we want to be in 5 or 10 years time, etc.

So I came to the part labelled “What is your favourite memory from Calvin?”… and I paused.

Favourite memory from Calvin? There are far too many…

  • Year 3 – there was an incredibly awesome teacher. She was also heaps pretty, too. Anyways, this incredibly awesome teacher was definitely the highlight of Year 3 – she made maths fun, for crying out loud! It doesn’t get much better than that – ‘cept when all your other year 3 subjects are fun as well! I don’t really remember much else about year 3 (apart from extra music below) – I was fairly good friends with Ben Steyne, and together we conquered the whole Primary campus with his 3-2-1 Thunderbirds! playset. It was awesome…
  • Again, year 3 and it’s extra music classes. Now, because Ben Steyne and I were so damn excellent at Music (as a result of separate, private [piano] lessons), we were entitled to go to these special music classes for people who were musically gifted. Unfortunately, these weren’t so much extra music classes as much as they were bludge lessons – at the time, all Ben and I did when we weren’t practising for our next concert or whatever (which was 99% of the time), was socialise with the (at the time) Year 6 girls… Good times had!
  • “Monkey”-ing around in year 5 (or 6) – imitation is definitely the best form of flattery. I was imitating someone in my class when she started to get really annoyed. I think the teacher then noticed it was annoying her and she (the teacher) then told me to stop being a monkey, ‘cos apparently, to monkey someone is to imitate them. I think it was designed to embarrass me, but I didn’t care…
  • Year 6, and it was time for our buddies. Now, we got to choose partners, so that each Prep kid had 2 year 6 buddies. Not unlike when I was in Prep, we also had to write stories for our Prep buddies. I don’t have the foggiest idea what my story to my buddy was, but I do remember that I chose one friend over another… Callum A was his name, and I was fairly good friends with him as well. More so than another guy you all might know, Jaymes C. Somehow, I managed to pick Callum over Jimmy to be my buddy-partner, and I don’t think Jimmy ever forgave me for that…

…and that’s just Primary school! :shock:

I’m fully aware that some of you mightn’t have primary school stories as colourful as mine – there were definitely some other stories that aren’t really appropriate. Now is not the time, nor the place.

So, back to this leavers interview…

I’ve put down “Tamworth 2006, aka Science and Engineering Challenge 2006″ as my favourite memory from Calvin… It was completely epic. So epic, in fact, I’ve got a website (almost) dedicated to it… See here.

200+ Krispy Kream Donuts.
38 students.
3 teachers.
13+ hours of bus.
4+ hours of plane.
4 days.
3 parents.
2 hotels.
1 Grand Challenge.

Yeah – that’s pretty much the best excursion ever. No idea how you’d top it…

Comments below.

written by Benny Ling \\ tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,