Oct 12

Another day, another musing.

I don’t usually post personal (well, not too personal :P ) stuff here, only because I’ve got my own blog for that. However, with freshbytes circling the drain I think it’s time we made sure that line is well and truly blurred. Here goes.

Over the past couple of weeks I’ve had an unholy amount of assignments and so on unleashed upon me care of Uni – with the exam period looming large, I feel like there’s some sort of pressure for me to preform.

As I’ve struggled to figure out how to call specific functions in programming, or how to make Javascript write to cookies, or how to determine how to validate forms using HTML, I feel like there’s just no point to all of this. Really, what’s the point? A degree in Computing (whoop-de-friggin-do)? That just seems so far away, and so futile…

Once upon a time I wanted to get into Dentistry. Certain circumstances changed (most on those another time), and now I’m not so sure. That’s not to say that if I was offered a place I would turn it down – I for one know how hard it is to get into those kinds of degrees – it’s just that sometimes, things just seem unbearably hard, you know?

The thing is, I’m not actually sure what I want to do now. Once upon a time Computing was my backstop degree (that is, backup), now it’s my primary one and it’s fast becoming my most hated one. Everything’s just too hard :(

Please don’t think of me as lazy – rest assured, as long as there’s enough reward in it for me, I’ll work damn hard to dot my i’s and cross my t’s. It’s just that now, almost one-third through my wishy-washy Computing degree, it’s like everything worthwhile seems so far, far away…

It gets even harder when you consider that I’m not sure what I want to do anymore. Everyone says to do something you enjoy – I used to enjoy Computing (or more accurately, computers), but now I’m not so sure. The hard question needs to be asked, then: what do I enjoy doing?

The sad thing is that I’m not quite sure I have an answer; computers are still fun, I love tinkering around with stuff like that, but as for making a career out of it? Video games, I love playing them, but again, making a career out of it?

Then there’s my real job. Ah, Apple. Apple stuff is cool, for sure, and I’d work in an Apple Retail store in a heartbeat, but again, I have relatives who have been salesmen their whole lives, and while they’re not too bad off they’d certainly be better off if they had a degree. I know that degrees give you excellent career opportunities, licenses to travel the world, etc, etc – it’s just going through the rigmarole of getting them that hurts the most. So yeah, retail isn’t a career path I’m willing to take – stupid ignorant customers took care of that pretty quickly.

Where to from here, Benny?

That, is the real question – one that I’m not sure I have an answer to.

(Apologies for the somewhat moody post again. Blame Uni. Blame whoever you want – I couldn’t care less.)

written by Benny Ling at 11:45 pm, Monday 12 October, 2009 \\ tags: , , , , ,

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